#28 Giraffic Park (TM)

I was in Greece over the summer visiting family and emptying my brain of all things stressful. During my 10 days away, a close friend (Michael) of mine came for a visit, which was awesome. On one of the days, he and I borrowed my cousin's car and proceeded to drive around the island, one point getting lost. Mind you, this is easy to do on an island composed largely of dirt roads. Anyway, during one point of our being lost we found ourselves in this large sort of arid valley with mountains all around and the ocean in the background and it really felt like we were back in time with no other lifeforms around. This is beginning to sound like the beginning of Brokeback Mountain 2, so I better get to my whim here. So, as we were lost, Michael and I had a strike of creative brilliance and we decided we should start a nature preserve that could become both a tourist attraction and in the process have us heralded as benefactors to the island. This is when my own creativity kicked into overdrive and I shouted out "Giraffic Park!". Startled, he looked at me like WTF? So I said it again. "Giraffic Park!" I went on..."It would be called Giraffic Park and it would be a Giraffe preserve specifically. Giraffes are awesome, they're tall, they fit the aesthetics of the environment, they are just exotic enough to be a draw yet theoretically easy(ish) to procure with Greece's proximity to both Africa and the Middle East." Silence.....Yeah, not sure Michael was feeling the Giraffic Park thing or not, but I cant stop thinking about it. This one is like once in a lifetime good. Seriously though, where does one buy a Giraffe?

#27 Party Planning

I'm several weeks into planning a design conference and I'm finding that I'm pretty good at it. I cant say I love it, but it's fine and my results may lead you to believe otherwise. It's a lot of work though. So much that it seems like it should be a fulltime job. One that pays. And I suppose it's a lot like party planning, but rather than have a set guest list, you have to woo people to pay to hear the people that you dangle in front of them like bait. Sounds weird. At the end of this (in April), I will have (with a bit of help naturally) wrangled about 9-10 speakers, 200-250 attendees, designed a logo, developed collateral, identified a venue, planned after-hours events and MCed a 3 day conference for which I will not paid so much as a free t-shirt. We dont have budget for those. All that said, I would guess that if I can plan this, I bet I could probably swing a bar mitzvah, a birthday or a wedding. Even if there are clowns, bands or petting zoos involved, right? Party planner. Maybe that is my destiny? Come to think of it, a petting zoo would actually be pretty sweet at my conference.

#26 Martial Arts

I am not a tall man as most people will attest. I suppose tall is relative, but generally speaking I'm just shy of average height. I am however freakishly strong and could always hold my own in fights as a kid. At the end of the day, I am who I am (like Popeye) and am perfectly comfortable with myself. In fact, I honestly dont recall the last time I was ever afraid of anyone bigger than me (and you should be because tall people are f-ing crazy. Fact.). That is until this past weekend.

I was at a going away party at a bar on Saturday night. One of my coworkers joined us later in the night with his friend Loser (name changed to protect his assholish anonymity). Well, Loser was tanked, and huge and a close-talker. And he had rage in his eyes. Like a mad drunk. And being a happy, lovey drunk myself, I totally cant comprehend the mad drunk. Well, I tried to be courteous and make idle small talk since I could give a shit to become friends with this guy. But he sort of kept getting more belligerent and was aggressively close-talking to some friends of mine too. I can get protective of my friends, so this was not sitting well with me. And in pondering that for a moment, it occurred to me that if he tried anything and I intervened, I would most likely lose. And lose badly because he was huge. And it was in that moment that I decided that maybe I should consider looking into martial arts classes of some kind. Cause I mean, if you have to throw down unexpectedly, It'd be kind of sweet to drop some ninja shit on a motherf%^&)er. If you had to anyway.

#25 - Manly Leg Warmers

Before you turn up your nose at my idea, hear me out. I got an awesome scarf last week from a friend in NYC and I love it's chunky knit. As I was thinking about it's chunky knit (which I have come to learn is called a "pearl" knit) my mind drifted towards outerwear possibilities. It's really chunky and warm so why limit it's use just to scarves. A knit this grand needs more opportunities to shine. I also like zippers a lot. Big, chunky zippers and was thinking about how one could combine the two. On top of that, I am also into military attire, and specifically WW1 era uniforms, as (and I know this sounds absurd) they seem to have been more tailored than later war uniforms. I'm digressing a bit, but this is where I bring it home. Imagine if you will, an outfit that had a heavy military jacket about butt length, a pair of kind of beat up jeans and some sweet boots. Now add to that what I will call an outersock on the lower legs. These outersocks would be in this chunky knit and would have big ole zippers going down the sides. Are you with me? Brand it G-Star or something like that and it is instantly totally butch and totally on brand. See, I bet you were thinking Flashdance. Nope. Way better.

#24 The Snuggie

They've been the victim of ridicule since their launch a few years ago, and I admit, I have spouted my share of insults at the Snuggie too. Well, I dont know how to exactly say it, but I think I need one. My house is freezing and I am constantly bundled in an assortment of jackets, hoodies, blankets like some sort of Bedouin Jedi or something. Problem is, I can't actually do anything if I'm wrapped up like that. Take for example today, where I am sick at home and am trying to do some work. Well, I cant. Not very effectively anyway. The blankets are getting in my way when I sit. They drag when I stand. They get wet when I wash my hands. It's just not working. I need a Snuggie. It has sleeves. It's a blanket with sleeves. Yes, ridicule-worthy for sure, but also practical. Now, what color...

#23 - Blog Idea #4: Hipster or Homeless

I write this before doing even the most cursory Google search, primarily because my idea has most likely already been realized in a zillion fashions. But if we had settled on just inventing the wheel, we'd never have invented tires or 24" gold dubs on which to put tires. Genius is in the way things are expressed. So, back to the blog. This was inspired by an incident from over the weekend where I came upon a dude who I genuinely couldn't tell if was a homless man or a hipster. I paused like one might if they think they heard a strange sound. I assessed my surroundings. I channeled all that I know about fashion, styling and the like. Yet still I couldn't deduce whether or not this man was in fact homeless or not. And I never figured it out either. I dont feel bad about my lack of resolution though. Even Scott Schumann (The Sartorialist) has been thrown off on occasion and he's sort of a professional. Anyway, I believe this sort of thing deserves a blog. Again, I'm certain one exists but whatever.

#22 I will take some time off

More like past tense, seeing as I have been on a 3 week hiatus of whim sharing. I did this because it was the holidays and so I decided to turn my brain off. Genius was temporarily silenced. But like all bad things, the ideas are back and stronger than ever. 2011 will be grand.