#41 Magical Organizer

They say that when you add "god love him but..." before talking about someone it means they are an idiot.  Not sure what "god help me but..." would mean but I am guessing I fall squarely in between the 2.  I'm no Rhodes Scholar (though I do have a t-shirt from my college visit.  Wait, no I dont, that was DeVry Institute) but have done fairly well with my career so far.  And though I yearn to be more organized (aside from my well cataloged clothes, shoes and outerwear) alas, I am not.  Not with work stuff anyway.  Well, let me tell you something, research has shown us that not only do Sasquatches exist, but as for humans, we can be classified in 2 camps of organization types - filers and pilers. If they had a secret club for us, I would declare 'hi, I'm Demetrius and I'm a piler...though I secretly wish I was a filer.'.  Hi Demetrius everyone would answer and listen to me lament all my wrongs, from misplaced memos to overdue proposals.  Ugh my list of wrongs would be long.

Well, today is a new day my friends.  I recently started a new job and I said 'you know what, it's time to make a change.  From now on, I'm gonna be organized.'. I bought one of those fancy Moleskine journal things that depressed people and hipsters swear by and started using it to take all my meeting notes.  They're all in order so I just need to flip to the date and I can recall the meetings I was in (since my memory is for shit to top it all off).  I also bought a To Do list which allows me to keep track of my tasks that I need to get done.  Lastly, as you may  have guessed by now, I have my trusty pink post-it notes.  I use them for everything.  Well, I'm almost 3 months into the new job and while I am far more organized than I was at my last job, I find myself thinking of or remembering things to add to my To Do list, but when I dont have that pad with me.  Or I may want to give someone I note, but I dont have my post-its.  See, I'm not at my desk much but I also dont want to carry a ton of crap around with me.  What to do....  well, I'll tell you what, have the organization fairy punch you in the face by way of an amazing dream on a random Tuesday night.  That's what happened.  And I ended up with my new invention (which has no name yet but is TM anyway).  Here it is in all it's glory:

It's a Moleskine, that I cut the lower third of, then inserted 2 small pads, a to do list and a post-it pad.  Now I can take sequential notes in a meeting but always have my to do list and post-its "active" below.  It's like an analog digital thing.  In hindsight, I could have probably done all this crap on my iPad all along and spared myself the stitches, but it would be far less rewarding to use.  FYI, typing with band-aids on is a pain in my ass. 

Getting My Whims On...Again

I have been neglecting this blog (as I do with all blogs I start) for many months.  I dont know why to tell you the truth.  The whole point of this blog was to easily capture all my many ideas that I come up with daily.  Well, it's definitely not from lack of ideas, so it must have been boredom and busy-ness.  On a sidenote, as I just wrote that, it dawned on me that business and busy-ness sort of look the same, but are definitely not the same.  Ok.

Well, as it appears it's been several months since I've written anything on here so let's cover what has occurred.  First off, I quit my job and moved to LA for a new job.  I was about to write more but that's pretty much it.  Hate your job.  Look for a job.  Get a job.  Quit a job.  Move your shit.  Start a job.  Now.  Sounds so simple.

I have during this time also failed to document some great ideas on here.  Fortunately I have still been keeping some notes, so here are some examples of brilliant things that I have failed to document:

1. Garden Hoes - Like garden Gnomes but dressed like prostitutes.
2. Starting a Barber Shop Quartet, but with whistlers.  This is pretty self explanatory.  And awesome.
3. A website called Yea of Gay.  It would have pictures of clothes and stuff that could be rated as to whether it's well, Yea or Gay.  This is now a game with two former coworkers.  I'll count that as realized.
4. A Blog dedicated to writing about all the awesome things you cant do because you're married.
5. Reversible Sweater Vests - Imagine a sweater vest that one might wear to work but then when they go out they could turn it inside out and it would have like cammo or neon stripes or some shit.  Business on the outside, party on the inside.  Amazing.  And I may have already written about it but I cant remember since it's been so long.
And my favorite...
6. Quba shirt - It's like a tourist t-shirt for Cuba but Cuba would be drawn like Q-bert style.  That would be hilarious.

Ok then, so now that the ole "getting back on the horse" part is over, I can resume the writing.  But read the disclaimer.  These might (will) not be daily.

#40 McCocktails

On weekend mornings I must admit, I enjoy having spiked beverages to start my day. Whether a coffee with Kahlua or Whiskey, a Mimosa or the occasional Bloody Mary (though Mimosas are definitely my fave), I find that it makes the weekend feel more vacation-like. I also spend many weekend mornings watching soccer, which includes a drive through McDonald's to pick up breakfast (usually a sausage egg mcmuffin) which I then take to my local pub, specifically Hap's Irish Pub to watch my soccer, specifically my beloved Liverpool. When I get to Hap's I order Guinness (I call it my breakfast beer) and you might be surprised to know how swimmingly it pairs with an egg mcmuffin. Like Ronald and Grimace concocted that themselves. Well, one recent morning as I was enjoying my egg mcmuffin though craving a mimosa (which Hap's rarely makes) I was stricken by a bolt of genius. I think McDonald's really need to have liquor licenses. More importantly, McDonald's needs liquor licenses to make my dream beverages (which I imagine would go over quite well). Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you the McMosa and the Bloody McMary! Oh yeah. See, McCafe needs a beverage counterpart, and I think McCocktails are where it's at.

#39 Full Moon Hat

Schizophrenics, as I understand it, oftentimes think that the government is trying to control them through chips implanted in their brains, which I guess must get there when they're sleeping or something. To protect themselves, the loonies create and wear hats out of tin foil in order to block the transmission waves, thereby averting imminent governmental control. Ok then.

Well, I'm not crazy, but I do notice that I can get a bit off axis let's say, during full moons. The word loony actually comes from the word luna, which means moon in Latin, due to (go figure) the common occurrence of people getting wacky during full moons. Well, it's a full moon today and I've been a bit off kilter this week and I'm convinced it's due to the moon. So I had an idea inspired by the crazies, a special hat that blocks the crazy waves of the moon. I'm no scientist so I don't know exactly what about the full moon makes people nutty, but I'm sure it has something to do with magnetic fields and gravitational pulls of some kind. So my hat idea would have to block all that. I'm sure if mankind can create awesome inventions like iPhones and Playdoh, some genius could make my hat idea work. Of course it better look badass or I won't wear it.

#38 The Time Traveller's Welcome Center

I have always been fascinated by time travel. In fact, last year when everyone else was making new year's resolutions about things like eating less and recycling more, my own resolution was to see every movie ever made about (or related to) time travel. I didn't realize at the time quite how many movies there would be, so like all new year's resolutions, I didn't fully complete it, but also like all resolutions, I intend to. But I digress.

I have thought about time travel quite a bit over the years and not in the physics or the hard science parts, but more in the "realities" of living it. For example, when I'm walking around town I often wonder if anyone who's around me is actually here from another time. Like say someone is incorrectly using their metrocard and the people behind them get mad. Well I sometimes wish they'd turn around and say "sorry pal, but in 1249, where I come from, we don't have these silly cards. give a guy a break!". Stuff like that really gets me thinking about their daily life experiences. Like, are they stuck here? Are they just visiting? Who knows?

It got me to thinking, that essentially time travelers are like any tourists in the sense that they are visiting someplace new and likely don't know anyone nor what to do. So, what would these tourists need (besides friendly hosts)? How about a welcome center? Maybe an online forum, like Lonely Planet, as a way to communicate with each other or to share tips. Imagine you were wandering around the back streets of Edinburgh in 1849 and as you turned left from Princes street into a back alley, you somehow walked through some sort of inexplicable time portal and the next thing you know you're dodging traffic in LA. Messed up right? Well I know I sure would feel lost, confused and unsure of what to do next. That's where my idea comes in. All they would have to do is just ask for the nearest time traveler welcome center (we can brainstorm catchy names another time) and all would begin from there. I think this could be great.

And for the record, as time travel movies go, I would say my top pick right now would be either The Lake House or Lost's Season 4 Episode 5 "The Constant" (which I realize is not a film but is awesome nonetheless).

*Funny side note, Keanu Reeves was also in the Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure films, which also had time travel. Lucky.

#37 - Cobbler

It's a lost art, right? It's at least dying. Or is it? Apparently not.

The economy has been generally shit for the last year and a half or so, in case you just emerged from your cave. That has globally impacted everything, primarily the job and housing markets. So aside from hedge fund guys and foreclosure vultures, who else has actually been doing well during "these tough economic times"? Believe it or not, tailors and cobblers. Yes, tailors and cobblers. Why you ask? Well, when I asked my tailor and cobbler that question, I was told it was because people have rathered repair their stuff than buying new. I know it sounds crazy, but it makes lots of sense. I have a great tailor in town named Mike. I love the guy. Aside from being a great tailor, he's a super human being to boot. I've been going to Mike for about 4 or 5 years now to have anything from simple hems and mends done to some relatively complex alterations and rebuilds. Those who know me, know that I can be a bit particular. I will say that Mike is also a patient man. I hope to someday have him make me a custom suit but until I can afford to do that on this continent, I will at least continue to have my alterations done by him. This post does have a point, read on.

It got me wondering, how does one become a tailor or cobbler and then naturally should I be one? Well, as tailors go, I know sometimes they are either fashion grads or they're Asian or Italian. Cobblers though I have no idea. They are dominated neither by a particular ethnicity nor a schooling of any specificity. Which makes this one maybe more complicated because I think I'd like to learn cobblering. Why? Well, first off it's expensive. Secondly it smells good. There's hardly a better smell than shoes back from a repair and shine, no? Mmmm.... Thirdly, I am good with my hands. All sound like good reasons, right? I look at it this way. I figure I only have about 10 pair of shoes and boots and I probably visit the cobbler with those about 4-6 times a year. If I added the repair costs up, I probably spend $300-$400 a year getting stuff fixed. That's kind of a lot. Like enough to buy 1-2 nice pairs of new shoes. That's where I got to thinking. If I could just fix and maintain my own shoes, I could more easily justify acquisitions to my shoe collection from time to time. Problem is, I don't know where I'd learn these skills, which will be necessary should I decide to pursue this craft. Do they have a school for cobblery? Does it require a huge investment in tools? I don't really like tools much, so I hope not. In hindsight, this sounded like a good idea when I started writing this, but funny how things change 10 minutes later. Never mind.

#36 Who Moved My Cheese?

I remember about 11 or so years ago when I was at my last job and we had a bunch of internal changes, many of which didn't sit well with the older set. Next thing you know the book Who Moved My Cheese? starting greeting some of these folks when they would arrive at their desks on random mornings. It's hard to imagine that anyone could manage their staff that way, but alas it was done and it went over as well as you'd expect.

Fast forward to a couple of years ago and I remember reading an article in Harvard Business Review generational trends and how the core traits of generations basically repeat over the course of history as the one sets' actions influence the next. Very cyclical people we are and it was an amazing article. This made me think of how different my generation is from both the Boomers and the Millenials. Those 2 however are surprisingly similar in some respects. Particularly when it comes to having their cheese moved. This lead me to the idea of writing a Who Moved My Cheese, the Gen Y Edition.

See, the Boomers needed that book because their parents (and some of themselves even) largely held same job their whole careers, so when adversity would strike, they seriously had no idea what to do. This jaded our parents who in turn jaded us. We Gen Xers never had any fucking cheese anyway so we had to either find it, make it or just bitch about it. Eventually we sort of figured it out, but then came the next group ready to take over. But the Millenials are like robots. They expect things to be where they are and are truly puzzled when they're not. Wha..? The golden ring is always behind this pink barrel on this level. I dont...it doesn't...compute.....TILT>>> They can't handle it. And in the workplace it's the same. Slightly different cheese, but same reaction. I work with some of these people (kids). They need a book. I can write it. It will help them. Gold stars and blue ribbons for everyone. We're all winners.